Saturday, March 1, 2008

Friends (Male)

God, it is a beautiful day today. I am sitting in my back yard, lap top ready for whatever spills forth, and the day is gorgeous. My neighbor has a big tree full of luscious oranges, and I can hear the kids in neighborhood playing and laughing. Of course there are a ton of birds, especially hummingbirds (my favorite), and bee's visiting our plants. The earth is peaking her head out now, ready for spring.

I had intended to continue writing about my muse, Hawaii. What came to me instead, is to reflect on "friendship", and what friendship has meant to me. Someday I will live in Hawaii, at least part-time, although I don't know when, or how, but I do know when it does happen, I will add to my "friendship" circle.

My journey in this life, has been amazing. I know the years on this planet, without deep friendships, would not have been as fun, or rewarding. Not always were these friendships through "marriage", or "relationships". Funny huh? I guess I had always thought, that when you married someone, they were your friend too. Boy, was that a rude awakening. It is not their fault, it was where my consciousness was then, or maybe how "asleep" I was. I do know, that I learned a lot through these relationships, and honor that these men shared my journey. I know this, as I know my birthday, I will only choose to love a man, in which the "friendship component" is there, and we are in sync with life.

Speaking of men, the ones that are my friends (not relationships...if you know what I mean), are named Jim and Rick. My brothers, not my lovers. I am very blessed to have two special men in my life, that love me through thick and thin...okay, even with my weight losses and gains...

I have known Jim since 1972. We worked together in the Public Safety sector, and before I knew it, Jim up and retired with his wife Sue, to Post Falls, ID about 9 years ago (how did all those years go by). Besides a girlfriend from high school, Jim is my "oldest" friend....sorry Jim. I don't know how many hours we have talked, shared gossip (early days), dreamed about our futures, and at times, he held my hand through tough situations, and relationships that did not have that "friendship" component. He continues to support me, and understands when I talk in circles, or I take a while to call, or email him. Writing about Jim, is bringing up so many memories, some past and present. Jim knows my essence, fractures, and has "always" been there for me. My eyes are getting watery, so I am jumping to Rick.

I went through a divorce in 1999, and met Rick in 2002 (it is a long story about how we met - which I will write about at another time). I had been missing "male" energy and perspective, so I asked the "universe" for a brother/friend, who I could do activities with. I had decided not to date, because my "patterns" with men were not the healthiest. Remember that "friendship" component....I did not know how to be in a friendship with a man, then allow it to move into a permanent relationship. So I thought, "go cold turkey"! Do not date, until I find out who I really am, and what type of relationship I wanted...

Okay, now for Rick. The Universe answers my call, and brings Rick into my life. We found that we had much in common; believe in a higher power, meditation is the way to go, get out of "ego", honor our individual processes, and stay in "universal" love (no matter if Rome is burning). The Rome is burning part, can take a while. Here is a male friend, that is working on himself at many levels. There is so much I could write about Rick, and will at a later date, but one experience I want to refer to, is the blog write up regarding Hawaii. Rick has been to most of the islands in Hawaii, and to the Big Island many times. His vision is to live there, and grow bamboo. Ricks dream is to ultimately build a sustainable living environment, with the focus on children. ** You can tell, this is a whole "blog" on its own.** If I do not call or email Rick for a year, he still loves me. If I space out, which I have been known to do, and don't show up somewhere as promised, he forgives me and loves me anyway. Now my eyes are watering again.

This blog today, has led me full circle, from male friendships to my beloved Hawaii. Due to these two fantastic men, and the work I have done on myself, I decided to start dating in June 2006. I can tell you, that I attracted a man, that has the friendship component, and is my playmate. This friend, has presented me with the opportunity to experience Hawaii at an intimate level. He has shared his love of Hawaii with me, which I will always be grateful.

I thank Jim and Rick, for their love and friendship, and for understanding the "little girl" in me, and accepting the woman I have become.

Many blessings.